Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
