The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I am available for nakedness
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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