I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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