i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
