Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
