I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
