well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
