Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
