so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize