I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
why do cheetos always look like penises
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
