perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
