Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
