There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
