i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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