is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He shit in the fireplace
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
