Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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