everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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