the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Sober January is a disaster.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
