i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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