The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
