Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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