the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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