im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
