i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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