dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
