yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
