Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
