Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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