Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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