office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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