where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
