I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize