Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
