Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
