So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
