All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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