Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
