Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
