There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
