Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
