he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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