How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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