its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
