guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
