just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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