her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
