Everything about him screamed your future.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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