Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
