I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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