Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
