he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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