You're completely useless in the revolution.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
