She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize