Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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