I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
