if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
