His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
