Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
