i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
