And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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